Although it had already been two weeks since my love went to be with the Lord, I was still walking around in a daze. Work had been so good to me, telling me not to worry about coming back until after the New Year. Wow, what other boss would give you that much time off. Now came the task of trying to decide where I was going to live, what I was going to do with my life. I really didn't want to go on, I prayed and prayed for God to take me so that I could be with my Phil. The hardest things that I had to do was to take apart Phil's train layout. He had the back room full of trains. It was his winter hobby when he couldn't go outside and tinker with cars. I remembered that he had said that there were some really expensive trains back there, but I didn't know what was a toy and what was a collector item. The whole room had to be sorted out, packed up and shipped out somewhere. How was I ever going to do that? I would go back and do a bit, the tears would start flowing, and then I would stop. Finally I just couldn't do anymore. I had taken the tables apart, sorted out a few trains, that I wanted to keep, so I just called a friend and asked him if he wanted it all. He came, packed it all up, let me know if something was worth anything, and took it all away to be reconstructed at some point in his home. Don't know if he has done anything with it all yet or not.
It was nearly the end of September now, and I had the task of trying to find somewhere to live before the winter months set in. I had put my name into geared to income housing, but I also new that the waiting list was long. I really didn't expect to get anything from them untill the next year. But to my surprise, they had put me on an emergency list, and I was offered an apartment for December. I was so surprised. Found out later that I was offered this since I had once a long long time ago lived with Housing and also cuz I knew so many people in the building that I applied for including my sister and the manager of the building. Now I had less than one month to finishe getting all of Phil's stuff sorted out, packing what I wanted and then move. Now a new problem, how was I going to clean everything up in less than a month? I still don't know how I did it, but bags of clothes went to the salvation army, trucks full of junk went to the dump, and trucks full of scrap went into the scrap yard. Now all I had left was the things that I wanted to take with me. The problem now was how was I going to get it all from the house to the apartment.
About four years earlier, an uncle of ours had passed away and unknown to us, had some money saved up. This was divided between the family so I did have a bit in savings. So while in our favorite restaraunt one morning having coffee, we were talking about my move. Someone said, well what do you have that really means something to you? Being that most of our furniture was second hand there really wasn't much. Then it was said that a furniture store was having a sale, why didn't I take some of the money that I had and go and buy new and have it delivered to the apartment? What a great idea. New start in life with new furniture. So of course my sister and I went on a shopping spree. I think it was just the thing that I needed. To go out and enjoy myself looking at all the new furniture, trying to decide what I wanted, and then buying it. I felt such a load being lifted off of my shoulders. I can say that for that day, I was laughing and enjoying myself. But that was short lived. I still had to pack up what I needed to take, get it all moved, and then say goodbye to the wonderful memories of living in the country with Phil. That was hard, leaving the area where we were the happiest together. Phil loved the country living, the wide open spaces, the animals that were around. He loved to sit out at night and just watch the stars, and talk. I miss that so much.
Next the big move...........
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